I Will Remember You
by fanofrandy
Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout. Some minor language. COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

Title: I Will Remember You

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

It was 4:30am…Johnny had made his way to the day room and began brewing coffee. He did not make the best coffee, but it was strong and that is what he needed right now. He sat down at the table and waited for the coffee to brew. He had tossed and turned all night…dreams, again. He could not remember all of the dream, but he knew that Roy was in the dream. He was trying to remember when he heard the coffee pot…

"_Roy, Roy…" Johnny could not find Roy. Where was he? It was so dark and Johnny just could not get his eyes to adjust to the darkness all around him. Roy had just been by his side. Johnny continued to search. "Roy," he called again into the darkness. But, there was no answer. He thought he felt someone grab the back of his turnout coat, but then…" _He woke…

Johnny was still sitting thinking about the dream when the morning tones sounded waking up the rest of the men in the station. Johnny continued drinking his coffee as the men slowly filed in to the dayroom. Stoker was first. He was almost always the first one awake. "You okay, Johnny?" Mike asked with his usual, gentle tone. "You are up early, huh?" Johnny thought how to respond and quickly replied with his basic answer to almost all questions regarding his well-being, "I'm fine, Mike."

Marco, Chet and Cap followed closely behind…all going right to the stove for coffee. This morning would end a rough 24 hour shift. They had been busy all day and the engine had been called out three times last night. The men all sat at the table, Mike went to the get the morning paper and they settled into a companionable silence. Johnny continued to ruminate on his dream…

"Something up, Pal?" It was Cap this time. Johnny thought he must be very tired or his burden was showing on his face. He quickly smiled his 'crooked Gage smile' and said, "No, Cap, everything's fine." All four men looked at him and he just looked down as he continued his coffee; he was on his fourth cup already. Roy came in and walked over to the stove to pour himself a cup of coffee, too. He looked at the men at the table and smiled softly…he went to sit next to his partner and picked up part of the morning paper. "Just talked to Jo and the kids…" he began, "…got to tell the kids to have a good day at school and Jo has a long 'honey-do' list for me today."

Johnny knew what he was doing…he was trying to wrangle Johnny into helping with the list. Johnny would love to help, but had other plans…"I'm working overtime at 110's today. Sorry, Pally, can't help you." Roy shrugged and continued with his paper. Soon, the men of B-Shift began to arrive and Chet, Marco, and Roy went to change in the locker room. Johnny continued to stare at the table, still thinking of the dream he had…

"You gonna stay here all day, Gage?" Dwyer broke through the fog. "Huh…oh, no, I gotta get to 100's. Doing OT today." "Wish you were here with me. Bellingham is subbing today! I almost wish it were Brice!" Johnny gave Charlie a crooked grin and nodded his good-bye as he got up from the table to go get dressed so he could get to 110's.

Roy and Johnny said their good-byes in the parking lot and Roy invited Johnny to dinner the next day, "Call me if you have a rough shift, and I will just bring over some leftovers for you if you're not up to company." Johnny appreciated Roy's offer of dinner and company. He was also glad that Roy understood that he may not be up to it when his overtime shift was complete. They understood each other so well…"_But, why can't I remember my dream and why can't I find Roy in the darkness…" _Johnny thought as he got into his Rover to head out to 110's.

He made good time and parked his Rover and ran into the Station just in time for morning roll call. "And, Johnny Gage. You made it by the skin of your teeth, Mr. Gage." Johnny looked up and saw his friend, Stoney—well, Captain Stone. Stoney used to be a paramedic and was now the Captain at Station 8. "What are you doing here, Sto…er' Captain Stone?" "The same as you, I guess…putting in some overtime." Johnny smiled…maybe this would not be such a bad shift after all. Station 110 did not have a Rescue Squad, but he now had someone who he could commiserate with on this shift.

After roll call, Johnny put his helmet and turnout coat on the seat in the engine and went to the day room. All the guys were busying themselves with the morning chores and he grabbed another cup of coffee. "_What is this…my eighth cup_?" Johnny thought to himself. He chatted with the guys and helped them with their chores…the dream became a distant memory.

It was nearly noon before they got their first run. It was a minor traffic accident. A car slid into a telephone pole. No one was seriously injured. They were out maybe an hour. A slow shift at 110's can be grueling. The station was "off the beaten path" and there was not a lot to do. Johnny played a game of basketball before going back in to read more of the morning paper. Captain Stone was busy with paperwork, or he would have talked with him. Johnny remembered back to his days as a "hose-jockey", as Dr. Brackett still referred to him at times…

His memories were soon interrupted as the klaxons sounded…**"Station 110, Station 8, Station 38, Station 51 respond to mile marker 176 on Canyon Hills Road—repeat mile marker 1-7-6 on Canyon Hills Road. A bus over the cliff. Time out 1:17." "10-4, Station 110 KMX-518"**

Johnny put on his turnout coat and helmet and climbed into the jump seat. "_A bus_," he thought, "_what kind of bus_?" With the number of stations and squads called, he knew that they should expect the worst. Station 110 was the first on scene. There was a broken guardrail, an 18-wheeler tipped over and an ominous path going over the side of the cliff…Johnny raced to the cliff edge as some other men ran toward the semi. Johnny gasped when he saw it…

He ran over to the engine, grabbing a safety belt and some rope. "Cap, there is a school bus down there. Looks pretty bad. I am going to repel down there to see what I can do until the Squads arrive." Johnny nearly commanded. Captain Stone new that Johnny was the best man, besides himself, to send down that cliff. He would know what care to provide until the medical equipment and other paramedics arrived at the scene. "Okay, Johnny, let's get you tied off to the engine. Once you get down there…contact me on the HT and let me know what else you will need down there." There was urgency, but calmness in the Captain's voice. It served to calm Johnny's nerves a bit. Johnny began his decent.

Johnny could smell gasoline and he could hear the whimpering and crying of those on the bus. He called down…"Help is coming. My name is John Gage. I am a fireman and I am here to help. We are gonna get you all out." Johnny did not know what to expect when he arrived at the bus, but he had taken a deep breath before he took his first look. And, what he saw made his stomach turn over.

There were about 15 kids in the bus. They were all piled on top of each other and he could not see the driver. "HT 110 to Engine 110, Cap, can you read me?" Captain Stone knew Johnny—not as well as Roy did—but, he could hear the slight din of desperation in the man's voice. "Engine 110 to HT 110—what have you got John?" Cap replied. "Cap, we have maybe about 15 or 20 kids. They are all piled on top of one another, so I can't tell exactly. I cannot see the driver right now and I don't see any other adults. Cap, the bus is teetering on the edge of another overhang. Too, much weight one way or the other and this bus is going to crash into the canyon." "Okay, Johnny…you are the skinniest one in the department"—"_How could that be with all that Gage eats_" Cap allowed the fleeting thought to pass—"can you get on that bus and get those kids out?"

Johnny had no choice. "Yeah, Cap. Can you send a few guys down to help with the kids once they are evacuated?" "I'm sending them down now, John. And, John…be careful." The last statement was not needed, but Captain Stone felt the need to say it anyway. Gage had always seemed to be a magnet for disaster and he did not want Gage to be added to the victim list—not on HIS watch. Johnny maneuvered around the bus to find the best entry way. Some of the children were waking up and beginning to move. The bus moved with them…"Hey, my name is John Gage. I am with the Fire Department. We are going to get you all out, but you HAVE to stay still. DON'T MOVE!" Johnny practically yelled.

All the windows in the bus had been broken out, but the bus was now laying on its roof, so the emergency door and windows were all crushed. The front of the bus, where the driver would be, was the part hanging over the edge. Johnny found an opening big enough for him to get through…he took off his turnout coat and passed it through the opening as he saw three more men coming down the side of the cliff. "Help is coming, kids. Just hang on." Johnny almost whispered. When he got into the bus, he coughed at some smoke and then allowed his eyes to adjust. Though it was the middle of the day, there was little light since most of the windows had been crushed.

Johnny moved forward very slowly. He heard some children crying and he gently spoke, to no one in particular, "It's gonna be okay. We will get you out. Just stay calm and don't move, okay?" He heard a couple kids actually answer him and thought that was a good sign. He wanted to help the children first…but he slowly moved toward the front of the bus. Since the kids were toward the back of the bus, he would have to get the driver out first, or the bus would go over the edge when the weight of the children was released…common rules of simple machines.

When he got to the front of the bus, he felt it shift slightly. He lost his balance and fell against something. "Son-of-a…" he stopped himself when he saw some of the children looking at him. "Are you okay?" one of the children asked. "I am okay. I am just gonna see about this guy and then we will start to get you kids out. Alright?" The question was not answered and he did not expect one. He up righted himself and felt blood trickling down his back. "_Oh, great Gage. You will never hear the end of this_…" he thought. The guys teased him incessantly about his history of injuries and illness. He shrugged it off to check the driver. He felt for a carotid pulse that was not there. He glanced around and saw another adult and did the same. She, too, was dead.

Johnny turned his attention toward the children. He could see that quite a few of them were conscious and aware of their dire circumstances. They were frightened…and, if the truth be told…he was, too. But, he kept a smile on his face the whole time while soothing the children with his calm voice and promises of safety. "Gage," he heard one of the guys call from outside the bus, "we tied off the bus to the engine and the first Squad arrived. What do you want us to do now." "Let me call the Cap on the HT and I will let you know" came Johnny's reply. The men stood back away from the bus…even though it had been tethered, it still was very unsteady.

"HT 110 to Engine 110, Cap?" "Johnny what have you got?" came Captain Stone's reply. Johnny was grateful for the lack of protocol. It gave him a sense of comfort somehow. "Cap, we have at least two Code F's and about 10 children. There may be more, but I cannot tell until we start to evacuate." Johnny stared at the wide eyes of the children in front of him. He was unable to stand straight up due to the seats and the crushed roof of the bus. He was eye-to-eye with some very frightened children and the tension and fear was palpable.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 2

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout.

Captain Stone told the Paramedics from Squad 38 to stay at the top of the cliff for now. He knew from past experience as a medic that Johnny was doing everything that could be done and the kids would need treatment once they were evacuated. No one else was needed on that bus, "_Hell no one else could get on that bus right now without it tumbling off the edge_." Captain Stone ruminated. The driver of the semi was also a Code-F, so they called for the Coroner and awaited his arrival, too. "Engine 110 to LA. Could you get an ETA on Squad 51?" Sam, the LA Dispatcher replied, "10-4 Engine 110." Shortly, he answered Captain Stone's plea for more help, "Engine 110, LA…Squad 51's ETA is 5 minutes." "10-4 LA, Engine 110, out." Captain Stone, being a religious man, said a silent prayer-for the semi driver's family, for the children on the bus, and for his friend, Johnny Gage.

Johnny began assessments on the children he could get to immediately. He told them that he would check them out first and then get them off the bus. He explained that getting out of the bus could make some injuries worse if they were not aware of them. Johnny gently assessed the first child. He was about 12 years old. "What is your name?" Johnny asked. "Dan. But, everyone calls me DJ." Johnny thought that name sounded very familiar for some reason…"_DJ, DJ, DJ_?" He ran over in his mind. "Well, DJ, it seems that you check out okay. You wanna get out of here?" DJ nodded his head so hard Johnny thought it would fly off his shoulders. Johnny called out to the guys waiting outside the bus…"I'm gonna start sending kids out. DJ, here is the first one. You guys ready?" An affirmative reply came and Johnny returned to the window he had entered. It was barely big enough for him to get through, but the kids would have no problem. He took his turnout coat and laid it over the edges of the window to ensure the children would not be cut by any remaining glass shards.

DJ crawled out to the awaiting fireman. Johnny did the same with the next four children. When Johnny felt the bus shift again slightly, he determined that he would have to change his course of action. Though all he wanted to do was get the kids out of the bus, he needed to think rationally. Again, he thought of levers—simple machines. If he evacuated all the kids, then the front of the bus, with the two dead (Johnny flinched at the thought)…they would lose the bus with the remaining children and him inside of it. He continued his assessment of the remaining children. He pulled them over to the other side of the bus as he cleared each of them. He was amazed at how most of the children had escaped major injury (at least that he could determine in the field). "_Thank God_", was Johnny's quick thought as he continued. When he moved the fifth child, another boy, he saw them…three little girls all crumpled together in a sick knot of mangled flesh and blood with two of them pinned under a seat. He gasped aloud.

"Are they dead, too?" came the question from one of the children. Honestly, Johnny answered, "I don't know yet. You kids stay right there and **don't move**" He put a lot of emphasis on the last two words. He checked the carotid pulse on the first little girl…he checked again…and, once again. No joy. There was no pulse. He tried to brush her hair out of the way and saw only blood. He turned back to the children. "It's gonna be okay." He said more for himself than for them. He thought for a brief moment what he should do next. "_I cannot let these children go through this_." he determined in his mind. He made the call…"Kids, you are going to crawl out that window just like all your friends have, okay?" He walked over toward the window and told the fireman outside what he was going to do. "Gage, we have to get the Code F's—you said the front of the bus was bearing too much weight…" "Just, help me get these kids out of here" Johnny yelled. The fireman did as he was told and the next five kids exited the bus through the tiny opening.

Johnny felt the bus shift again. He felt pain on his back—"_Oh, yeah_," he remembered the first shift of the bus, he fell against something, "_I must have cut myself. Well, that will have to wait_." "Engine 110 to HT 110—John, what's going on? I thought you were evacuating the Code F's." "Ca, Ca, Captain," Johnny stuttered, "I have another Code F. A child. I could not let those kids see this, Stoney." His friend understood, but he was endangering himself and whoever was left on that bus with him. "Johnny, what else have you got?" Captain Stone inquired. Johnny purposely ignored the transmission and returned to his duty.

Johnny went back to the place where he found the little girls. He gently moved the one he had already checked out of the way. He then checked the other two girls. He found both to be alive—barely, but alive. He would have to make sure to be careful with these two as he got them out. They were badly injured and pinned under the seat—there were extensive facial lacerations, a lot of blood, broken bones and most-likely, internal injuries. They may not make it, but he would do everything he could to ensure they had a fighting chance. Johnny yelled, "Guys, I'm gonna need to contact Rampart. I will also need some splints, C-collars, Pediatric Backboards, and I will probably have to start IV's BEFORE we evacuate." The men went to fulfilling Johnny's requests. "And," Johnny added, "I will need the port-a-power to get this seat off of them." The next voice Johnny heard was Charlie Dwyer's over the HT…

"HT 51 to HT 110. Johnny, what do you have down there?" Johnny was thankful for the familiar voice and he knew that Charlie and Bellingham would be of great help once he got these little girls out of this mess. "Hey, Charlie. I have two females, approximately 11 years old. Both have been crushed beneath a bus seat. There is massive blood loss, facial lacerations and bruising, suspected head, back, neck, and internal injuries. I am gonna have to be careful getting them out of here, Charlie. Or, I may lose them right here." Charlie could hear desperation in Johnny's voice. He was ashamed, but he was glad it was Johnny on that bus, and not him. "Let us know what you need, John." Charlie said. "I have already given the list to Johnson…he should be up there soon." Johnny replied before he got into position to begin providing care for the girls.

The way the girls looked, he doubted their own parents would recognize them. They had been crushed under a bus seat and their faces and heads looked like, he hated to think it, ground hamburger. "_They will certainly be needing extensive surgical procedures_," he thought, "_if they even live through this_." He hated that last thought he had and wished it away. Children were resilient—more so than adults—and, he had been through some horrible things as a child and survived. He willed his strength onto these two little girls.

"Where is the damn equipment?" Johnny yelled, not caring about his language since the two little girls were unconscious anyway. "On its way, Gage," came the response. He had relayed the girls vital signs, at least pulse and respiration, up to Dwyer who called it in to Rampart. The first of the supplies arrived. He reached toward the opening for the drug box and the port-a-power. He started to set up the drug box and realized that the other little girl, the one who was Code F, was "in the way." He called out to the guys assisting…"I am going to have to hand out a Code F, guys. It's a kid." He warned. They grabbed one of the yellow blankets and handed it in to him. He pulled off the plastic wrapping and covered the little girl as gently as he could. He lifted her and scooted her out the window. He hoped that was the last dead child he would have to pass through that opening today.

Rampart ordered IVD5W for each of the girls. As Johnny made quick work of the IV's and splinting, he thought that one of the little girls made some noise. "My name is Johnny. I am a fireman. I am going to get you out of here. I promise." He said, calming the child again. He knew that the girls would be in extreme pain if they woke up now and he also knew he would not be able to give them any meds for the pain since head injury was certain. He prayed quickly for them to remain unconscious…for their sake and his. He checked vitals again and there had been some slight improvement with the established IV's and he radioed Dwyer who updated Rampart. Now, it was time to free these little girls from their tiny would-be tomb.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 3

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

Johnny placed the port-a-power against the back of the seat and began to compress the handle. The seat began to rise slowly. Johnny felt the pain again in his back as he pumped the handle more fervently. But, he did not pay it any mind. His priority was the little girls. He watched them to see if there was any sign of distress—they could have "compression syndrome"—which meant that once the pressure of the seat was released, their blood would rush to the extremities and this meant certain death. He could request the MAST suit, but he would wait to see what happened.

It seemed like forever since he boarded the bus…"_How long has it been_?" thought Johnny. He should have immediately given care to the kids and he would have found the girls sooner. Maybe he could have saved the one he passed out under the yellow blanket a few minutes ago. But, hindsight was 20/20 and he and Roy…and, pretty much everyone he knew…always second-guessed themselves on runs that went bad. "_What could we have done differently? What time could have been spared? Could this one have been saved_?" Those questions and many others flooded Johnny's mind as he continued to pump the port-a-power handle. Finally, he stopped and felt under the seat. He could get his hand between the girls' bodies and the seat…he was certain he would be able to get them out now.

As he pulled the backboards over toward him, he could see several fireman waiting impatiently at the opening…he knew they were as anxious as he was to save these little girls. "Guys get ready for the first one…" he said to them, hoping to ease their anxiety. That was like Johnny…no matter how hurt he was, no matter his struggle, he always tried to make others feel better. As he started to move the first girl, he felt the bus shift again. This time, it was pretty significant. He pressed on with his task of freeing the girl. As he got her on to the back board, he looked down at her face. It was badly swollen…a broken jaw for certain…and, had blood all over it. He thought he recognized a familiarity about this tiny patient, but as he looked at the other girl, he thought "_Wow, they could be twins_." The girls were wearing nearly the same outfit, had the same hair color and build…"Maybe they are twins" Johnny thought aloud. He quickly dismissed the thought away…it would be hard enough for a family to have one child in this condition; let alone, two.

The shifting of the bus worried the waiting fireman and the Captain above looking down. "Johnny, what's going on in there. Are you okay?" He hunted around for the HT; it had slid forward with the last movement of the bus. "Yeah, Cap. I just moved the first girl and the bus shifted again. I am going to move the two Code F's from the front of the bus to the back for now…that should disperse the weight toward the back of the bus again." Johnny wanted desperately to get the little girls out and on their way to the hospital—for that was their only hope for surviving this terrible accident. But, his mind drifted back to his 8th grade science class…"_The applied force and the load must be equal to maintain balance_". _His science teacher took them out to the playground and put two children about the same size on the see-saw to teach the point visually._

He moved the bus driver carefully as not to cause the bus to move any more than it already had. He moved the other adult, "_a rather lovely 30-something woman_," he thought, over to the same area with the driver. Again, there was a hint of familiarity with the woman as he had with the child. He felt he somehow knew them. He returned his full attention back to the girls. He checked the girl on the backboard, reviewing her vitals one more time before relaying the information to Dwyer. "Come on, Johnny, it's been over an hour, we have to get those girls to the hospital now." came Dwyer's response. "_Had it just been an hour_?" Johnny thought—he felt it had been more like TEN hours. "Okay, victim one is one her way up to you." Johnny said as he passed the child out the opening.

Once she was free, Johnny got the other backboard and went to get the other girl. He put the board in place and began moving her. She stirred and pulled back in pain. Johnny cringed…"It's okay, darlin'. I don't mean to hurt you. I just have to get you out." he whispered in her ear. The child's eyes grew wide and tears streamed down her face. She tried to talk but her injuries prevented the words from coming. "Don't try to say anything, precious. My name is Johnny and you are going to be okay." He finished moving her and she lost consciousness again, right before he handed her out.

As he handed out the last victim, Johnson noticed the blood on Johnny's shoulder. "You're bleedin', Gage." "What's new?" Johnny retorted "Get her up that cliff and to Rampart NOW." Johnson heard the urgency and felt the palpable concern that Johnny expressed. As Johnny retreated to get the drug box and other supplies; he would allow the Coroner's office and CSI deal with the two fatalities; he glanced to where the girls had been. He saw something that grabbed his attention. He moved toward it and as he picked it up, his blood ran cold, "Jenny…oh, my God, Jenny." he screamed. He held in his hands a Hello Kitty purse that he had bought for Jenny for her 10th birthday...Johnny's day just got that much worse.

The men heard and almost animalistic scream come from inside the bus. They thought that Gage had been injured (again), but then heard his transmission on the radio to the Captain. "Stoney, this is Gage…" he yelled, "one of those girls is Jenny DeSoto!" Everyone within earshot of the radio knew Roy DeSoto and his family—they had met them at Department Picnics and Fundraisers—this was a blow to everyone. Captain Stone knew that he had to get Johnny to calm down and get him out of that bus…"Johnny, both girls are on their way to Rampart with Brice and Patterson. Dwyer and I are up here waiting for you… All the other children have been taken to the hospital as well. Get up here, and let's get you checked out." Johnny felt himself slipping into shock…he had to get out of this bus before it became his coffin. As he slid out the small opening, seeing the sunlight for the first time in nearly two hours, his friends were there to help him. "We heard, Johnny. It will be okay. Let's get you up this cliff and take care of that cut on your shoulder. We called another ambulance to take you to Rampart, too." Johnny allowed himself be led…he had no more energy to think or feel. How had he not realized that Jenny DeSoto was one of the children he was rescuing?

He reached the top of the cliff and he fell into Captain Stone's arms. Just as the blessed darkness overtook him, a song lyric came to his mind:

_I will remember you, will you remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories._

_Remember the good the times that we had?_

_We let them slip away from us when things got bad_

_Clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun_

_I want to feel your warmth upon me, I want to be the one._


	4. Chapter 4

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 4

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

Things were moving along nicely at the DeSoto household. Roy had gotten several chores on his list done and he and JoAnne were just finishing up a leisurely lunch. They discussed the field trip Jenny's class was going on today. They were going to a mine in the canyon to see how they mined for gold and silver. Roy had been reluctant to sign the permission slip—he remembered a few times when he and Johnny were involved in cave-ins in the old mines around the area. But, JoAnne eased his mind by letting him know that the children would not actually be going into the mine, but just seeing the equipment and they would be able to do some "panning for gold" themselves. Jenny was so looking forward to the trip—her best friend, Josie, was going and they were like sisters. Roy finally acquiesced…

When he called that morning before the end of the shift, Jenny said, "Thank you, Daddy, for letting me go on the trip today. Me and Josie are gonna sit together on the bus. We are gonna have so much fun. Mommy is packing an extra puddin' cup for Josie in my lunch bag…" Roy forgot what else Jenny had said, but he smiled the whole time. He loved his daughter very much and was glad she was going on the trip. Jo had cut the call short because she had to get Jenny to school a few minutes early so the bus could leave on time for the mine. He couldn't wait for Jenny to get home and tell him and his wife what a great time she had.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. He bent to kiss his wife as he stood up from the table and went to the door. He saw Vince Howard, an LAPD officer he worked with often, and wondered what he was doing there. He immediately thought of Johnny. Panicking, Roy opened the door, "Vince, is it Johnny? What's happened?" he cried out. Vince lowered his head…he liked Johnny a lot and did not want any harm to come to him, but he almost wished he was here because of Johnny. "It's not Johnny, Roy," Vince began, "I don't know how to tell you this, but there has been a terrible accident. A bus collided with a semi on the Canyon Road and the bus went over the edge." Roy felt this legs give way as Vince stepped in to catch him. "Who is it honey?" JoAnne asked as she moved toward the door.

When she saw her husband in Vince's arms she knew something was terribly wrong. Her first thoughts were of Johnny, too. Roy had told her he was doing overtime at 110's today…something must have happened to him. "Roy," she cried, as she reached for her husband, "what's wrong." Vince continued, "The bus Jenny was on has been in an accident. Survivors are being sent to Rampart General." JoAnne's heart dropped when she heard the words "survivors are being sent to Rampart…"—could it be that her child was…NO, she could not think that. "Vince, is Jenny…is Jenny…" Roy could not make the words come out of his mouth. This was the hardest part of Vince's job…"I don't know Roy…I just know that we are gathering all the parents of the children on the trip and bringing them to Rampart." JoAnne grabbed her purse and she and Roy got into Vince's cruiser to go see if their child was still alive. Before they left she asked their neighbor to drop off their car at Rampart so they could drive home later-neither one of them could drive a car until they knew the fate of their daughter...

Back at Rampart, the doctors and nurses were busy ensuring all the children brought in earlier were cared for. It was a miracle that more children were not seriously injured. Many of the children had minor cuts, scratches, and there were a few minor broken bones. Some of the parents began to arrive—desperate for information. Dixie was the one designated to coordinate the parents and the flow of information. She read off the names of the children already at the hospital…as he read the last name, she saw Roy and JoAnne DeSoto enter the room. Her heart dropped as she then glanced down to see that Jenny's name was at the bottom of the list—one of the critically injured children.

"The parents of those names I just called…please go with Nurse Carol to the other waiting area. You will be able to see your children soon. A collective sigh came from all those parents. They knew their children were alive. There were three more names, not yet called. Dixie approached Roy and JoAnne, another couple, the Wyatt's, and a young, single mother, Ms. Franks—all standing like they were deer in headlights. Dixie began, "There are three children who are still at the scene or in transport" she lightly touched Roy's arm, "They should be arriving soon and I hope to have more information for you then." Roy and JoAnne remained silent as Dixie gathered information from the other couple and woman. They pulled closer to one another as they braced themselves for the worst.

JoAnne told Roy she would call Chris' soccer coach and let him know to take Chris home with him after practice. This was a common occurrence and it would give them more time to find out about Jenny before they talked with their son. "_Chris will be devasted_," Jo thought, "_He worships his sister_." JoAnne had not seen two siblings get along better than her children. The fact that they were nearly four years apart in age did not seem to matter…they loved to spend time together and Chris was never embarrassed to have his sister tag along on his outings with friends. What would they do if they lost one of their children? JoAnne had prepared herself; as much as one can; for Roy's possible death. He was, after all, a fireman and that came with the territory. But, she rarely considered the thought of one of her children dying…and she did not want to consider it now.

A young man entered the room, and broke the silence Roy and JoAnne shared. Dixie had taken the parents of the other two children to different places to await the news. Roy looked up and recognized a fairly new Paramedic, Peterson, was his name. Roy wished Johnny was with him! Dale Peterson stepped toward Roy and offered his hand, "Mr. DeSoto, I am Dale Peterson. I am working out of 38's today with Craig Brice." Roy didn't care, but shook the man's hand anyway. "I know this is a bad time, but I wanted to let you know that Brice and I were dispatched to the bus accident." he offered. Roy stood up and the questions flowed, "Did you see my daughter? Did you treat her? Did any of the children…" why couldn't he say the word "DIE"?

Peterson continued…"Mr. DeSoto, when we arrived on scene, we were told to wait since the bus was unsteady and other Paramedic was already in the bus with the children and other victims. I was sent in with the first few ambulances once the majority of the children were freed. The kids I came in with all had minor injuries and were just mostly scared. John Gage was in the bus with the other, more seriously wounded children." Roy did not know what he digested first…'John Gage' or 'more seriously wounded'. He went with what he could trust, "Johnny? Johnny was there?" He spat out. "Yes, Mr. DeSoto, Station 110 was the first on scene and John was the only one who could get through the small opening to the bus." JoAnne let out a sigh of relief. "_If Johnny is there, then Jenny will be okay_," she rationalized. But, Roy remembered the other part of his statement, "You said, 'more seriously injured'…do you know how badly my daughter is injured?" Peterson wished he had more information, but offered, "No, I am sorry, but I know that they called for more ambulances when we left and Dwyer was getting some vital signs from John when we packed up to leave for Rampart." Jo put her hand on Roy's shoulder…they had something they did not have a few moments ago…hope.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 5

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

As Jo and Roy were in the lounge with Peterson, the first of the two seriously injured girls were brought in to Rampart Emergency. She was actually the second victim evacuated from the bus, but the first to arrive at Rampart. Dr.'s Brackett and Early were waiting for her. With the severe head injuries, Dr. Joe Early would be her only chance of survival right now. Dixie had come out of Kel's office just as the gurney with the tiny body burst through the door. Craig Brice's face was pale and ashen as he rode on the gurney with the small girl and was pumping on her chest. Once on the ambulance she continued to decline. She coded just as we pulled up," he shared with everyone who could hear. "Room 3," Dix called out as the attendants wheeled her around the corner as Brice continued compressions. The doctors, the gurney with Brice and the girl, and the attendants all disappeared into Room 3. Dix took a deep breath before she entered the room, too.

They all knew what Johnny had said once the girls were out of the bus…Jenny DeSoto was one of the badly injured girls. Was she the one left behind, the one on the table in front of them, or was she still in the ambulance on her way? The questions haunted them all as they continued the life-saving work that Craig Brice had begun. Dixie looked at the little girl…reddish, blond hair; pierced ears; but, looking at the face of the girl there was no way to tell if it was Jenny. She started to take the child's clothing off so the doctors could give the proper care. She noticed that Johnny had already done some cutting to put on the splints and some bandages. She finished the job he began. She prayed as the doctors called for the drugs that would start the child's heart again.

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctors were unsuccessful in getting the little girl's heart to start beating again. About that time, Bellingham came in with the other had been the first one out of the bus, the been delayed at the scene to re-establish and add another IV since it had been dislodged when they were getting her up the cliff. They knew they had been slow in transporting and prayed the delay would not be here death sentence. The doctor's quickly rushed to her side, hoping this would be more successful than their last battle. Dixie stayed with the dead girl, sending Carol to help with the other victim. She was not done yet. She had to be able to give closure to the parents of this child. She gathered the bloodied clothes together and put them in a bag. She glanced at the child's face again and realized that, even the child's parents would not be able to identify her with all the swelling, lacerations and blood. She moved to the child's side and noticed something on her wrist…she picked the child's arm up and looked. It was a small, homemade, beaded bracelet and it told her all she needed to know…the brightly colored letters spelled out, "J-E-N-N-Y."

Back at the scene, they identified the deceased child by a Medical Alert bracelet. Her name was Jessica Franks. The information was relayed to the LAPD through LA Dispatch so the parents, waiting at Rampart, could be informed. The Coroner's office would be busy with the four deceased bodies. But, the Crime Scene Investigators and National Transportation and Safety Board were also on the scene to determine how this accident happened. It may be days or even weeks before the loved ones of the deceased had closure, but they would do all they could to provide some answers to their "How's? and Why's?"

Back at Rampart, Roy and JoAnne stepped into the hall to see if they could get more information on the two children who were being transported…knowing they should have arrived by now. Dixie was at the Nurse's station and looked up at him grimly…"Roy, you and JoAnne should go back to the lounge. We should know something soon." She lied; she already knew something-the worst of somethings! "Dixie, are the two girls here yet," he pleaded and JoAnne reached for his hand. "Yes they are both here, now. The doctors are with them. Roy, they are badly injured and there is no way to identify them right now…if you know what I mean?" she relented…still lying a little. Roy shook his head; he had seen some pretty bad vehicle accident victims; and then, his whole body shook.

"Rampart this is Squad 51, do you read?" Roy recognized Dwyer's voice. "_Dix said the girls were here, who was he treating_," Roy wondered. Dixie, thankful for the interruption, went to the base station, "Rampart here, go ahead 51." "Rampart, Johnny is going into shock; request second IV D5W." JoAnne's hand tightened in Roy's as they heard Johnny's name. Dixie replied, "10-4, Squad 51, proceed with second IV. Squad 51, what is your ETA?" A moment later, Dwyer responded, "ETA is ten to fifteen minutes Rampart." "10-4 Squad 51, we are ready for you. Rampart out."

Dixie turned to Roy and JoAnne…she could see the many questions on their faces. She decided which ones she would answer…"Johnny received a pretty bad laceration to his back during the rescue and has lost a lot of blood. He also apparently went into shock when he realized that Jenny was on the bus. He passed out and Charlie is riding in with him now." Roy and JoAnne looked at each other…"_How much tragedy are we supposed to endure in one day_?" they shared the thought. "Can I see him when he comes in, Dix?" Roy pleaded. Maybe he could get some information from him about the accident, the girls, and if his daughter was okay. "He is not conscious, Roy. He can't tell you anything." She said, knowing his motive. She knew he cared about Johnny's condition, too; but, high on Roy's priority list was his daughter.

The second girl was sent up to surgery immediately. They would have liked to have stabilized her more, but delaying surgery would mean certain death. They were amazed at how much she resembled the child they just lost in the other room. She had almost the same injuries, wearing the same colored clothes and had the same hair. They hoped they would not lose this child, too. Dr. Brackett came out of the Exam room with blood on his coat and shoes. He wanted to go to his office to change, but there were parents in there waiting for news on their child. He walked over to the Nurse's Station and saw Roy, JoAnne and Dixie standing there. Roy looked at him pleadingly…"Doc?" Kel wished he had news for Roy. Looking at Dixie, he realized that they did have news to share. "Roy, you and JoAnne go on into the lounge. I will be there as soon as I can. Johnny's on his way in and I need to see how he is doing and I will come right to see you. I promise." Roy and JoAnne dejectedly walked toward the lounge. Roy would have pressed him further, but he just did not have the energy. Roy remembered the words to a song he'd heard playing on Jenny's radio:

_I'm so tired I can't sleep; standin' on the edge of something much too deep._

_It's funny how we feel so much, but cannot say a word_

_We are screaming inside, we can't be heard_

_I will remember you, will you remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories._

Kel turned to Dixie, "Is Johnny here yet?" "No" was the short answer. "That girl in there is Jenny, isn't it?" he asked, not wanting the answer. Dixie handed him the bracelet and he felt tears well in his eyes. "I want to treat Johnny and be sure he is okay before we tell them, Dix." She understood his need to be sure that one friend was okay, before he broke the heart of another. Vince came up to them and asked where Mrs. Franks was. "She's in Kel's office, Vince." "Her daughter died on the scene. I need to go inform her…" Just as those words left his mouth, Dwyer came around the corner with Johnny. "Room 5," Dix called out. Dr. Brackett followed the men into Room 5 while Dixie found Dr. Morton and led him and Vince to Kel's office to talk with Mrs. Franks. When she found out that the other set of parents, the Wyatts, were up in the surgical waiting area waiting for news on their daughter, Josie, she wondered, "_Will this day ever end_," as she entered Exam Room 5.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 6

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

Dr. Brackett checked Johnny over. He had a deep laceration on his back and his clothing was soaked with blood. "_It's not all his blood_," Dr. Brackett deduced from the injuries he saw on the girls. "Let's draw blood. I want a CBC, and test for leukocytes. Let's hang one unit of plasma and get one unit of whole blood up here stat. Dix, what's his temp?" Dixie pulled the thermometer from under Johnny's arm, "Axillary temperature is 101." Was Dixie's reply. "So, hose-jockey, you got an early start on some infection, huh?" Dwyer snuck out of the room while Brackett continued his orders, "Let's hang IV antibiotics to start fighting this thing right away and, Dix, check his file to see when he had his last Tetanus booster." "Last month, Kel. Remember he cut his hand on Roy's mower?" she reminded him. "That's right. Johnny," he called while pressing into Johnny's sternum with his knuckle, "Johnny, can you hear me?" There was no response to verbal or pain stimuli. Both Kel and Dix thought to themselves, "_He needs his rest after the ordeal he just went through_."

Vince called Mrs. Frank's sister to come pick her up. Dr. Morton gave her some diazepam to calm her down. Now that Kel had stitched him up and sent Johnny to ICU, it was time for them to talk with Roy and JoAnne. They walked toward the lounge, both with their heads down. Dixie rubbed her fingers over the bracelet she held in her pocket as they opened the door. Roy and JoAnne nearly jumped out of their seats. "Any news?" Roy asked. Dr. Brackett chose his battle…"Johnny is stable and on his way to ICU. He had a 9 inch laceration we sutured; he is shocky; and, we are dealing with infection issues already." JoAnne's eyes pleaded. She was thankful for the news on Johnny, but they needed to know how Jenny was doing. Roy reached for Dr. Brackett…"Kel, tell us…what's going on?"

He told them to sit and he put his hand out toward Dixie as she handed him the trinket. "Roy, JoAnne, this is the hardest part of my job," he started as he handed the bracelet to Roy; "Is this Jenny's?" He inquired. JoAnne broke down. Of course it was their daughter's…who else would have a bracelet that said "JENNY." "Yeah," Roy mumbled out…"She made it in her Campfire group. Does this mean Jenny is here?" "Yes, Roy, she is here. But, I am sorry…" Dixie trailed off her sentence to let them digest what had been said and what was about to come. "She didn't make it, Roy. I am so sorry." "She went into cardiac arrest in the ambulance and we just couldn't bring her back." Brackett added. They were holding on to each other like their lives depended upon it—and, it actually did. If they did not have each other at this time, they would certainly have crumbled beyond hope.

"Can we see her?" Roy begged. Dixie remembered the condition of the girl's face and thought "_No parent should see their child like that_." But, Kel said, "They took her downstairs and it will be a little while, but you can see her." They just melted into each other as the doctor and nurse left them to their grief. "If I ever have to do that again, just shoot me, huh?" Came from Kel and Dixie was surprised. He was usually the picture of decorum, but she saw his heart for his friends and knew that his heart was breaking, too. "I am going upstairs to see if Johnny got settled in okay." He said as he made his way to the elevator. Maybe they could salvage the day with SOME good news.

Roy pulled JoAnne's face up so her eyes met his. He wiped some of her tears away and kissed her gently on the forehead. "We will make it through this, Jo. Somehow, we will get through this." He promised her. She put her head on his shoulder and continued to cry. Roy thought of Johnny and wondered with a burning heart…"_**Why didn't you save her, Junior. Where were you**_**?**" Lyrics entered his mind again…

_I'm so afraid to love you , but more afraid to lose_

_Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose_

_Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night_

_You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life._

_And, I will remember you, will your remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories._

He would forever remember his daughter and he would give his life-and Johnny's life—for his daughter's if he had the chance to do so.

(Short, but very emotional chapter. More to come, promise)

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 7

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

Dixie brushed Johnny's bangs off his forehead. She quietly said, "Hey, Tiger. All your brother's are here to see you." "_Except Roy_," she kept to herself. "You need to get better so they can come in here and visit." She saw that his sleep was fitful and tried to ease his angst by gently rubbing his ear and humming softly. But, his dream continued…

"_Roy, Roy…" Johnny could not find Roy. Where was he? It was so dark and Johnny just could not get his eyes to adjust to the darkness all around him. Roy had just been by his side. Johnny continued to search. "Roy," he called again into the darkness. But, there was no answer. He thought he felt someone grab the back of his turnout coat, and when he turned, it was Jenny!"_

Johnny bolted upright in the bed as the memories of the day flooded back. Dixie tried to get him to lie back down, but Johnny was too strong, even with the sedation he had. She pressed the call button and said, "I need help in here, STAT." Captain Hank Stanley and Chet Kelly were standing next to the Nurse's station and heard Dixie's cry for help. They did not wait for permission, but entered the room at a dead run. They got there in time to see Johnny flailing on the bed, screaming and crying out for "Roy and Jenny". Both Hank and Chet ran to Johnny's bedside and tried to push him back down. Dixie ordered restraints to be brought to the room when the nurse entered. Hank and Dixie tried to sooth Johnny, "It's okay, Pal. Just settle down" Hank tried; "Calm down, Johnny, you are okay." was what she could offer. Johnny was inconsolable. He just knew that he was responsible for whatever "darkness" was encompassing Roy and he did not know what to do.

The restraints arrived and Hank and Chet hated the thought of putting them on Johnny's wrists. But, they saw how Johnny was a danger to himself the way he was. He had already pulled some stitches and his IV had been dislodged, too. Dr. Brackett came in with a syringe and quickly gave Johnny a shot in his arm. Soon, Johnny began to calm down and his eyes closed again, in a fitful sleep. "What the hell was all that about?" Kel asked. Dixie told him what she knew and what she believed Johnny knew…that was all they could guess until they could get Johnny calm enough to talk to them. They got his IV's re-established and Kel called for suture tray to fix the damage to his back. Under his breath, Chet said a quiet prayer, "God, please be with him and Roy. Be with all of us as we face what lies before us. Amen." Hank heard Chet's quiet plea and offered a quick, "Amen, to that."

Roy and JoAnn stood in the hallway outside the morgue at Rampart. Roy had been down here a few times. It was part of his Paramedic training and recertification to observe an autopsy every 6-8 months. He had never had to see the autopsy of a child…only adults. He shook his head to dislodge the vision of his beautiful daughter with her chest cut open in a "Y" incision. He looked at his watch. It was only 7:00pm. The last few hours had passed by at a snail's pace. They were now standing there, waiting to see their dead daughter. Roy knew he had to see Jenny to believe that she was really gone. He could still hear her voice and picture her getting off the bus that afternoon…but, that did not happen.

The medical examiner came to get them and let them know that they could see their daughter. He prepared them for the condition of the body the best he could. He knew that Roy would possibly understand the circumstances considering what things he had seen as a Firefighter/Paramedic. Roy turned to JoAnne, "Honey, are you sure you want to do this. He is telling us that she does not look like herself. It may be pretty hard to see her, Jo." JoAnne wanted desperately to see her daughter, but knew that Roy would not say this if he thought she could handle it. JoAnne relented and sat on the bench. "If you think it's okay, Roy, then I will come in after you." Roy entered the cold room. He shivered…not from the cold, but the reason why he was there.

He walked up to the only table in the room. The medical examiner was on the other side of the gurney. When Roy was ready, he nodded slowly and the sheet over his daughter's head was pulled down. He could not believe that this was his little girl. Her face was badly swollen and, though much of the blood and other debris had been washed away, he still could not recognize this…this…body, as his daughter. He reached up to stroke her hair gently. He recognized the ribbon in her hair and began to sob. He laid his head down on his daughter's shoulder and cried. He did not get JoAnne. When he finally came out, JoAnne stood and Roy only nodded his head and they fell into each other and mourned for their daughter, again.

The men of Station 51's A-Shift was in the parking lot by their car when they finally decided to go home. "Roy, we are all so sorry. Is there anything we can do, Pal?" Captain Stanley offered. Roy hugged Marco, who was the first at his side. Mike Stoker had gone to JoAnne and hugged her as he helped her to the passenger side of the car. The men could tell that Roy and JoAnne were running on empty—emotionally, physically, spiritually, and any other way. "Roy, let Marco drive you and JoAnne home. Chet, Pal, you follow in your car and bring Marco back once you get them settled in." Captain Stanley was a take-charge person and he did it again tonight—when Roy needed it the most. Roy put JoAnne in the passenger seat and settled himself in the back seat while he handed Marco the keys. "Oh, Cap," Roy said, "be sure to thank Johnny for killing my daughter will you." Cap was shocked at what he heard and the other men stood for a moment digesting what had just been said. "You get home and rest, Roy. We will check on you tomorrow, okay?" Marco started the car and they left, followed closely by Chet in his VW van.

"Do you think Roy meant what he said, Cap?" Mike questioned. "Roy is grieving, Mike. We have to let him feel his feelings…but, no, I don't think he really meant that." Cap hoped his answer was true…for both Roy and Johnny's sake.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 8

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

Author's Notation: There are some statements and thoughts from Roy in this chapter that would be out of character for the role we have come to "know"—but, when we are grieving, there are many things we think AND SAY, that are not normal for us…

Johnny's sleep was not restful. The nurses who came to check on him often thought that he was having a seizure as he tossed and turned and struggled against the restraints. His fever was up and down like a roller coaster and Dr. Brackett had been by four times since midnight to check on him. Dr. Early had been by a few times, too, after he checked on the Wyatt girl who had miraculously survived surgery.

"She has a strong will," Joe said aloud as he checked her vitals again. "Honey, you sure are fighting hard. Keep it up and you will prove us all wrong." "_Cuz', to tell you the truth, we did not believe you would survive_." he kept his thought to himself. Her parents were allowed to visit for 15 minutes every hour. He had her in an induced coma while the brain swelling reduced. Her jaw had been wired shut since the break was so bad. Her whole head was wrapped in bandages to prevent the cuts on her face from getting infected. Joe, not an outwardly religious man, prayed for the young girl and her friends, Jenny and Jessica, who died. The parents stepped in the room for their hourly visit. "Is our daughter going to live?" they asked hesitantly; unsure if they wanted the truth or not. Joe was honest, "She has a lot of cards stacked against her. But, if I was a betting man, I would put my money on her. She has a lot of spunk and she is drawing her strength from some unending source. She had an excellent chance if she makes it through the next 48 hours." The Wyatt's sighed in unison as they approached their daughter's bed. They each took one of her hands and held on for dear life while they remembered seeing Mrs. Frank and the DeSoto's earlier that evening getting the news that no parent should have to hear!

Joe left the family alone to be thankful for the miracle that had occurred in their lives. While Joe walked to Johnny's room, he wondered how a loving God could allow two families to lose their beloved daughter's while another family was able to hold on to theirs. It, unfortunately, was question he asked often, but never received an answer-"_God's ways are higher than our ways_" he remembered hearing in church as a child. He pushed the door to Johnny's room open and saw Kel standing at Johnny's head. He had his head bowed and he saw Kel's lips moving, but he wasn't talking to Johnny…he was praying, too. This was the first time Joe had ever seen Kel pray..they had been friends for years now and he did not even know what religion Kel was. But, a young Paramedic named John Gage, moved his friend to summon powers beyond his own as a doctor and this humbled Joe. Joe cleared his throat and fully entered the room.

Kelly Brackett looked up at Joe, unsure if he had seen him praying. The look on Joe Early's face was not telling if he had or not. Kel looked at his friend and shook his head as he looked back down at Johnny. "This one just may push Johnny over the proverbial edge, Joe. I am afraid that he will not come back from this pit of despair." Joe offered, "Kel, Johnny blames himself for Jenny's death and he does not even know she is dead. Roy blames Johnny for her death," Kel turned his head sharply toward Joe's words as he continued, "Hank and Chet told me something Roy said earlier tonight. Johnny is strong, but who could withstand all that pressure and blame? Not me!" "This man lying here in this bed loves that little girl more than his own life. He would in no way have caused her death intentionally." Kel stated the facts. "You and I as doctor's have to choose who to treat first...it is the essence of Emergency Medicine. Johnny had to make choices that no one should have to make. He did the right things and he and most of those children are alive today because of the choices Johnny made. But, Kel, we have to convince Johnny and Roy of that, too." Joe said before he left to rest. He would be checking in on Josie and Johnny again in a few hours. Neither he nor Kel would be going home anytime soon.

Roy looked in on Chris who was lying on his bed. He had finally cried himself to sleep after he and JoAnne told him the news of his sister's death. Chris had heard about the bus accident at practice, but he did not know it was Jenny's bus. He threw up when Roy told him his sister would never be coming home. Roy decided not to add to Chris' pain by mentioning the part about Johnny treating the girls on the bus, evacuating them, and being injured himself. Roy, frankly, did not want Chris feeling bad for Johnny when all he should be doing was mourning his sister. Roy had called JoAnne's mother and his sister, too. They were all going to be in tomorrow to help make the funeral arrangements and do all the other stuff that one does when someone dies. Roy walked in to see JoAnne lying on Jenny's bed. She had Jenny's favorite stuffed animal, a bear dressed in full firefighter turnout gear, in her arms. Roy sneered as it had been a gift from her Uncle Johnny—"Hmph, some Uncle," Roy mumbled aloud. He turned to go to his room to try to get some sleep before the sun came up.

JoAnne's mother was very helpful with the funeral arrangements. Roy sat in the chair in the undertaker's office and just stared at the picture book of coffins in his lap. "_Am I really supposed to pick one of these out for my daughter_?" he thought harshly and added to the thought, "_Maybe I can pick one out for Johnny, too, cuz' when I get my hands on him…_" JoAnne broke the thought as she broke down in tears once again. Roy reached over to comfort her with his embrace. He just hoped they had the strength to get through these next few days…


	9. Chapter 9

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 9

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? NOTE: lyrics from Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" are used throughout

Johnny opened his eyes slowly. He glanced around and realized where he was, "ICU again…ugh" he mumbled. Chet, who was sitting with him, heard his grumbling. "Hey, Johnny. How are you feeling?" Memories flooded him…he looked panicked toward Chet, "Is Jenny dead, Chet?" was all he could muster. Chet pressed the button for the nurse. He was certain they would need more sedation once Johnny's question was answered. "Let's wait for Dr. Brackett, huh?" Chet said, avoiding Johnny's question. But, avoidance was an answer…and, Johnny broke down in tears. As Brackett entered the room, he nodded to Chet and walked to Johnny's side. "Johnny…hey, Johnny, look at me." He beckoned his friend. Johnny finally looked up, with tear-filled eyes. The doctor's heart broke once again. "Johnny, please know that none of this is your fault. Captain Stone told me everything that happened and you did everything you could considering the circumstances." "But, Jenny's dead, doc. How can I live with that? How can Roy and Jo live with that?" he cried.

"We will take this one day at a time, Johnny. You are gonna make it through this, I promise. We all are." Brackett tried to convince himself, too. Chet touched Johnny's arm and stroked it gently to try to calm his friend. Johnny accepted the touch and slowly fell back into his restless sleep. "You almost convinced me, doc." Chet chided…trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, I almost convinced myself, too, Chet." Brackett replied. Joe walked by Johnny's room on his way to see Josie and overheard the banter. "Yes," he whispered, "we will all get through this."

Josie's parents were not in the room when he entered. He walked up to his small patient and checked her vital signs and wrote some things in the chart on her bed. "You will be fine, Josie. You are a fighter!" He noticed when he said her name, her heart rate increased. This was a great sign of her recovery…she was responding to auditory stimuli. That was an excellent sign! He went down the hall to find Kel and share the great news with him.

The next three days passed slowly for nearly everyone. On Tuesday, the men of Station 51's A-shift, except for Johnny, in their dress blue uniforms, attended the funeral of Jenny DeSoto. There were a lot of people there. Captain Stone was there and Chief McConinkee delivered a nice eulogy at Roy's request. Jenny loved the Fire Department and she joked many times that, when she grew up the rules would change and women would be able to be "fire persons." It seemed fitting to have the Chief speak. Captain Stanley said a few words and his wife, Emily, sang a lovely song…

_I will remember you, will you remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories._

_Remember the good the times that we had?_

_We let them slip away from us when things got bad_

_Clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun_

_I want to feel your warmth upon me, I want to be the one_

_I will remember you, will you remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories._

_I'm so tired I can't sleep; standin' on the edge of something much too deep._

_It's funny how we feel so much, but cannot say a word_

_We are screaming inside, we can't be heard_

_I will remember you, will you remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories._

_I'm so afraid to love you , but more afraid to lose_

_Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose_

_Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night_

_Gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life_

_And, I will remember you, will your remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories._

_I will remember you, will you remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories; weep not for the memories._

_-lyrics by Sarah McLachlin_

JoAnne kissed her own hand and "blew a kiss" to Jenny as she walked by the eerily small coffin. Roy put a single white rose on his daughter's closed coffin as he bent over to kiss it where JoAnne's hand had been just a few moments before. He remembered how his daughter looked the last time he saw her...he decided on a closed casket for everyone else's sake. Chris stood close to the coffin for a few moments and then broke down in tears. Roy put his arms around him and pulled him away. Other's passed by, paying their final respects to a bright, strawberry blond girl named, Jennifer DeSoto. Once back in the limo, JoAnne commented, "Roy, Johnny should have been here." Roy just nodded, not wanting to fight with her again about Johnny's place in their lives now that their daughter was dead. Chris had asked about Johnny and Roy told him that he was injured, but did not tell him about the accident or that Johnny had been there. Roy knew it was wrong to keep this from his son, but he had enough hurt, hate and anger for the both of them. He would hold onto all of it himself.

Johnny had been told about the funeral. Doctor Brackett had considered letting him go, but the night before the funeral, Johnny had gotten out of his bed and walked to Josie's room. He fell asleep sitting on the chair next to her bed and when the nurses found him, his fever had spiked to 103 degrees again. Dr. Brackett was chastising Johnny for his 'stupid actions' when Johnny interrupted him, "Doc, she was Jenny's best friend. Is it wrong for me to want to have some connection to Jenny when it was my fault she died?" Dr. Brackett almost started to lecture Johnny once again about how he was not to blame for Jenny's death when he saw the look in the young Paramedic's eye. He would save it for another day…the man needed some rest.

Joe was amazed at Josie's improvement. As a matter of fact, she had improved by leaps and bounds just over the past six hours—the time that Johnny had been in her room, holding her hand, talking to her, singing to her, and telling her stories. The nurses said they stopped in a couple times and knew that they should take Johnny back to his room, but they saw that the visit was helping both of the patients, so they kept quiet. That is, until this morning, when Johnny's fever had returned. "_If it wasn't for Josie's marked improvement, those nurses would be in BIG trouble_," Joe thought.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 10

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy?

Roy heard that Johnny was released from Rampart the day after Jenny's funeral. He wanted to see him to be sure he was okay, but his anger and hurt still burned hot. JoAnne was cooking in the kitchen and Roy walked in. She had been running on auto pilot since the funeral. "Jo, honey, why don't you try to take a nap?" Roy pleaded. They were both still not sleeping well…Roy in their bed, JoAnne in Jenny's. "I am okay, Roy. Why don't you go see Johnny?" Boy was she good…even in her grief, she could read him like a book. "I was thinking about going over there this evening." He said. She nodded her approval and he left her to her cooking.

Johnny had just left the hospital that morning at 8:30am, but he was already back. He made his way to Josie Wyatt's room once again. He knocked and when there was no answer, he walked in. He saw her head was still in bandages and he walked quietly to her bedside. His back still hurt and he had a slight headache—he assumed from lack of food. He had not yet eaten that day. He sat down by her bed and gently took her hand in his. He was comfortable here…it was the only place he felt he belonged since Jenny died. Roy had refused to come see him at the hospital and he had missed Jenny's funeral. He hated that he never got a chance to say, "Good-bye" to his Jenny Bean. Holding this girl's hand somehow made it almost okay…he wanted to just stay here forever.

Doctor Early walked in as he was gently telling her a story about how he had been sprayed by a skunk when he was seven. When Johnny laughed, you could not help but laugh, too. But, his laughter was forced and Joe could tell. "Johnny, what are you doing here?" "I can't leave, doc. I can't explain it." Johnny said. Joe shared with Johnny how Josie's neurological functions were improving and that she would most-likely have a full recovery. Joe also shared that he just told her parents that he was going to allow her to come out of the medically-induced coma tomorrow, if she continued to improve. Johnny squeezed the child's hand and said, "Isn't that great news, Josie. You are going to be fine." Joe noticed the heart rate increase on the monitor just like it had a few nights ago, and considered it another great sign.

Roy walked up to Johnny's door to knock. He stood, stoically for a few moments. He was not certain if he would hug Johnny when he saw him or if he would hit him. "_I guess it is time to find out_," Roy thought. He reached his fist out and knocked. He unclenched his fist as he moved his hand away from the door. He knocked again, when no one answered. He took out his key and wondered if he even had a right to have it in his possession. He did not know if he was Johnny's friend any longer and only friend's hold the keys to one another's homes, right? Okay, all rationalization was eluding Roy and he was aware of it. He raised his hand to knock once more when he heard the car pull up in the drive. Johnny was in the passenger seat of Mike Stoker's car. "He hasn't been released to drive yet," Roy deduced. The Rover was here, but Johnny was not…until now.

Johnny froze when he saw Roy's car. Mike thought he physically felt the temperature in the car get colder. He noticed the hairs on Johnny's arms were standing on end and he reached over to pat Johnny's shoulder, hoping to offer some comfort. Mike put the car in park as Roy started to walk toward them. Mike turned the car off and stepped out and yelled "Hi, Roy." Roy nodded his greeting. "Johnny, I am gonna go check the horses," Mike offered, "I will be back in a bit" He left, giving the two men time to talk alone. Johnny was too stunned to go for the door handle when Roy reached for it himself. The door opened and Johnny turned to get out of the vehicle. The men stood only a foot apart and said nothing. Johnny stepped out of the way and Roy shut the car door.

Johnny did not know what to say and neither did Roy. They stood there for what seemed like hours. Both of them looking at each other and then looking away. Roy let a tear slip from his eyes and Johnny let his begin to fall as well. When each man knew what needed to be done, they fell into each other's arms and sobbed like little babies. This was not the end…only the beginning, but each man knew that this was exactly what he needed right now. Roy was the first to back away. Johnny wiped the tears on the back of his hand and Roy pulled up his shirt sleeve to dry his wet face. "So, Junior, what's next?" Roy asked. Johnny was so glad Roy used his pet name for him, he knew this meant that things would be okay…eventually. "I don't know, Pally. But, I do know that I am so sorry…I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am." Roy shook his head and offered his hand to Johnny. Johnny reached out to take the hand like it was a lifeline to a drowning man.

"Johnny, I don't know what all happened…one day I will ask you to tell me. But, what I DO know, is that if anyone had to be with Jenny when she died besides me, JoAnne or Chris—it would have been you I'd pick. You loved her almost as much as we did, Junior. And, no matter what my head says, my heart knows that is true." Johnny nodded his head in agreement. Besides the time he had spent with Josie the last couple days, this was the first time he felt truly at peace since the bus accident. Johnny wanted to tell Roy about how well Josie was doing, but he knew that it was not the right time. Roy had just come to an understanding about his own daughter's death, he did not need to hear the good news that someone else's daughter was going to live. Roy and Johnny walked into the house together. Johnny put the coffee on and they waited for Mike to join them.

The next day, Johnny was the first one at the hospital. He was there even before Josie's parents. Johnny could not imagine how her parents could even leave the hospital with their daughter in Intensive Care; but, who was he to judge, he did not have any children of his own. But, he knew, that if it was Jenny in that bed, either Roy or Jo would be there 24-7 until she came home! Johnny was in the ICU waiting area when the Wyatt's came back. This morning, Dr. Early was going to discontinue the sedative so Josie could begin to wake up. Johnny introduced himself to the Wyatt's. He had actually met them before. The Wyatt's brought Josie and DJ (yeah, that was the kid's name from the bus that was so familiar) to a party Jenny had for her 11th birthday. Josie had been out to Johnny's ranch a couple times to ride horses with Jenny, too.

The Wyatt's both shook Johnny's hand and thanked him for what he did for their daughter. "How is she this morning?" Johnny asked. "We haven't seen her yet. We just got back." Mr. Wyatt said. Mr. Wyatt pulled Johnny aside and told his wife they would be right back. "Mr. Gage"—Johnny interrupted, "Please, call me Johnny." "Johnny," he continued, "I don't know how to explain this to you…or anyone for that matter. Since the accident, Josie doesn't seem like the same girl. She doesn't respond to her mother's voice or touch; she doesn't seem like she even cares that we are there." Johnny said, "Mr. Wyatt, she is in a coma. That is to be expected." "No," Mr. Wyatt almost yelled, "She responds to YOUR voice and Dr. Early's voice…but not ours. It's like she has forgotten us." Johnny could not explain all the intricacies of brain damage, but was sure that Dr. Early had offered some comforting words to the Wyatt's. Just as he was about to offer some sympathetic words, Dr. Early walked up and patted Johnny on the shoulder. Johnny flinched as he patted him on the gash that was still healing. Dr. Early realized his mistake and apologized profusely. "It's okay, doc. Don't worry. I'm fine" Johnny said.

"Doc, can we go see Josie now?" Mr. Wyatt asked. "Yes we can. Let's go, shall we?" And they walked toward Mrs. Wyatt and then to Josie's room.

TBC (almost done—maybe one or two more chapters and a prologue)


	11. Chapter 11

Title: I Will Remember You – Pt. 11

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy? Minor Language in this Chapter.

They all walked into Josie's room…including Johnny. Johnny lagged behind, allowing her parents to get close to her as the sedative began to wear off and she started to regain consciousness. Dr. Early kept a close eye on her heart monitor and vitals. Johnny saw her hand move slightly and he nearly jumped out of his skin. He was as happy as he could be considering his Jenny Bean was dead and he had missed her funeral. He thought about simple machines again…the balance of the see-saw. Unfortunately, saving this little girl did not entirely make up for, or balance out, the fact that he could not save Jenny.

As her parents talked and cooed to her, Josie's rates increased. "_See, she does know you_." Johnny thought to himself. But, as he looked at Dr. Early, he saw the concern in his eyes. "What is it, doc?" Johnny asked. "I don't know yet, Johnny. Let's see what happens as she comes out a little more." Johnny had sidled himself up closer to the bed. He was like a kid at Christmas waiting for his presents. He could hardly contain himself when her eyes fluttered a bit. "Josie, Josie, Mommy and Daddy are here." Mr. Wyatt soothed his daughter. But, it had the opposite effect. Josie's body tightened up and she became visibly agitated. "_This is not going well_," Johnny thought to himself, "_She doesn't recognize their voices and she is scared_." "Can I try?" he pleaded with the couple. They nodded their heads sadly in his direction. Dr. Early stepped out of the way to allow Johnny to come closer to the girl.

"Josie," Johnny whispered…the girl cringed again. "Honey, it is going to be okay. You are in the hospital and your mom and dad are here with you." She began to relax. "My name is John Gage and I was on the bus with you. Do you remember?" The heart monitor went crazy, her eyes flew open and she tried to stretch out her arm toward Johnny, but her dad had a hold of it. She took the hand closest to Johnny and put it on his face, and Johnny knew immediately. "Doc, it's Jenny. This is Jenny DeSoto!"

The next few moments were a flurry of unexplainable confusion, chaos and mayhem. The nurses were called in to calm the Waytt's who were yelling at Johnny for his bizarre announcement. They demanded he be removed from the room and Joe had security called to remove everyone from the girl's room. "Take them all down to Dr. Brackett's office. Don't let them leave your sight and don't let any of them use a phone or leave this building. I need to find out what is going on here. Nurse, have Dr. Brackett paged to this room, stat."

Dr. Brackett passed Johnny, the Wyatt's and a security guard in the hall on his way to Josie Wyatt's room. He wondered what in the hell was going on for Johnny and the Wyatt's to have to be escorted by security. And, when the guard said Dr. Early told him to take them to HIS office and not let them make any calls or leave the building, Kel's curiosity had been piqued. Entering the room, Kel found Joe trying to calm his young patient. Kel walked over to the bed and saw the girl's eyes were full of tears and wide. She looked as if she'd been scared to death. "Joe?" was Kel's one-word question. As Joe got the girl more calm, he told her he would be stepping away and would be right back. The little girl softened her hold on his hand and allowed him to move. "Kel, we have a hell of a problem here. Johnny is certain that this is Jenny Desoto." Kel shook his head with worry…he knew that this whole ordeal could break Johnny and it appeared as though he was right. "Kel, I think he's right" came the words Dr. Brackett did not expect. "What in the hell are you saying, Joe?"

"Kel, this is Jenny DeSoto. When I finally got everyone out of here, I asked her. She nodded her head, 'yes'. Kel, it's Jenny. We made a huge mistake." Dr. Brackett was the head of the Emergency Department…mistakes like this can end careers. But, he was smiling. This was the best news Kelly Brackett had heard in a very long time. Dixie joined them after seeing Johnny and the Wyatt's security escort to Kel's office. When they told Dixie, she went over to the girl, held her hand and looked into her eyes…"Jenny, I am going to call your Mom and Dad so they can come see you. Boy, they missed you, little one." If a person can smile with her jaw wired shut, then Jenny was smiling. She just wondered where they had taken her Uncle Johnny. She needed him to be by her—he was the one who saved her and he was the only one who really knew who she was.

When Kel walked into his office, it was like the beginning of World War Three. The Wyatt's wanted Johnny arrested—they could not think of what charges to file, but they wanted him to be arrested. Johnny was still in shock from his discovery. He was smiling one second and crying the next. He kept saying, "I have to call Roy. I have to call Roy…" Kel had the guard take Johnny to the lounge to be with Dixie—he knew she was there calling Roy and JoAnne. Dr. Brackett had the terrible task of telling the Wyatt's that the daughter they thought had lived, had really been buried two days ago under the name of Jenny DeSoto.

Roy answered the phone on the third ring. JoAnne had finally gotten to sleep and he and Chris were in sitting on the deck. "Roy, it's Dix. You need to come down here to Rampart right away. Bring JoAnne and Chris, too." "What's wrong, Dix? Did something happen to Johnny, again?" "Just get down here right away, Roy. Kel needs to talk to you immediately." With that she hung up. She did not want to give this news over the phone…in fact, she did not want to give the news at all. That honor belonged to a certain Paramedic who was looking at her like a kid at Christmas.

Roy, JoAnne and Chris entered the ER doors and walked toward Kel Brackett's office. Johnny saw them walk in and it was all he could do not to jump out of his seat. Kel and Dixie were standing on either side of him and the DeSoto's did not know what to think. Kel approached them first and said, "Roy, Jo, Chris…Johnny has something to tell you. Let's go into my office." Roy no sooner sat down in the chair in Kel's office-than Johnny stood up. Johnny paced back and forth a couple times to gather his thoughts and words. "Roy, Jo…she's alive. Jenny's alive." Roy felt as though his partner slapped him across the face. "What in the hell are you saying, Johnny. We had Jenny's funeral two days ago…I know you did not get any closure, but our daughter is dead." Roy yelled.

Dr. Brackett took over…"Roy, Johnny is telling you the truth. The girls looked so much alike and the bracelets…we made a mistake. Jenny is up in the ICU and she is awake and she very much wants to see her parents." JoAnne was the first to realize the truth…she smiled and then cried. Chris looked at his Uncle Johnny and Johnny put his arms out…Chris ran into them without delay. "Let's go see her, Roy." JoAnne prompted her husband. He was still in disbelief, "How? Why?" "Roy, remember I told you how much peace I got when I would sit with Josie?" Roy nodded. It had hurt his feelings, but he knew Johnny needed to share those days ago when they talked in his kitchen. "This is why…because it's not Josie…It's Jenny up there. When she opened her eyes this morning, I just knew. She took her hand and rubbed my cheek, just like she does when I am hurt and she takes care of me. IT'S JENNY, ROY. Really, it is." They wasted no more time getting to their daughter's room…the misery and trauma of the last week had finally come to an end…this was a miracle and they were truly thankful. They had their daughter back and that was all that mattered.

(prologue to follow)


	12. Prologue

Title: I Will Remember You – Prologue

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: After a daring bus rescue, Johnny tries to help Roy through a personal loss. Can their friendship survive this tragedy?

Jenny remained in the hospital for two more weeks and then was discharged to a rehabilitation unit. Johnny found one that incorporated animal therapy—riding horses—in the process of healing. It was three months before she returned home. Jenny remembered some of the accident, but remembered the moments before much more clearly. She and Josie had been playing with each other's hair and traded their hair ribbons as they rode the bus back to the school. Josie asked Jenny to trade their name bracelets, too. Jenny had just put Josie's bracelet on her own wrist when she heard a loud horn and felt the bus turn violently…

That was all she remembered. And, as far as Roy was concerned, that was all she needed to remember. Roy wanted to protect his daughter from the angst and pain of that day as much as he could. Once home, Jenny began to get into her regular routine again. She completed her homework assignments so she did not get behind in school. She also got nearly all her movement back in her arms and legs. Once the wires came out and after a few more surgeries, her face was nearly perfect...only a 2 inch scar on her forehead under her bangs remained. She called it her "badge of honor". She had grown up a lot over her recovery time and she was about to be a teenager and Roy knew that meant he would not be able to call her his "little girl" for much longer.

Johnny and the guys came over for a pool party to celebrate Jenny's 12th birthday. Jenny still walked with a slight limp on her right leg, but unless you looked for it, it was hardly noticeable. When she got tired, later in the day, it was more prominent. JoAnne was in the kitchen when Johnny arrived. "Hey, Jo. Sorry I am late. Did I miss much?" JoAnne turned to see Johnny coming in the house. She paused for a moment and stared at him. Very uncomfortable with the attention he diverted, "What, do I have a booger hanging?" "Johnny, you can be so gross, sometimes. Come here." He walked over to her and she pulled him into a very tight, very long embrace. "What was that for?" he asked. "For giving me my daughter back, John Gage. For giving me my daughter." Johnny smiled shyly and nodded. He stepped out on to the deck and was welcomed by resounding cheers, but he was looking for only one person. He walked over to where Jenny was sitting and sat down next to her. She saw him and hugged him with all her strength, "Wow, you get that from your mom, huh?" Johnny laughed "What are you talking about Uncle Johnny?" Jenny asked. "Nothin'. Don't worry about it. Hey, I got you a birthday present." "What is it? Where is it?" Jenny screamed gleefully. "Well, you gotta come out front…I couldn't bring it back here." Johnny hinted...

They all walked to the front yard to see what Johnny's gift was. There was nothing there. Jenny turned to her Uncle Johnny and asked, "Where is it Uncle Johnny? What's my present?" Roy and JoAnne knew what Johnny's surprise was as they awaited its arrival. Soon, they heard a vehicle coming down the street and the honking of a horn. Captain Stanley's brand new Ford F-150 truck came rolling up with a horse trailer attached to the back. Jenny could hardly contain herself…Johnny walked to the trailer and cajoled the horse to stick his head out…"Jenny, this is your gift." "Oh, Uncle Johnny, my very own horse? Is this for real?" she asked looking to her parents. "Yes, this is for real. He is yours. He will stay at the ranch with me, but whenever you want to come out and ride him, you can. He is all yours Jenny Bean." Jenny ran toward her Uncle, no one noticed the limp. She jumped into his arms and hugged him as hard as she could. "I'm gonna name him Junior…cuz' that is what Daddy calls you. Is that okay Uncle Johnny?"

"That is fine with me, Jenny Bean. That is just fine with me." He put her down and she ran to pet Junior, the horse. Captain Stanley had gotten out of the truck and came around to shake Johnny's hand. "Good going, Pal." Johnny walked over to Roy and JoAnne. "This is really okay with you guys, right?" "Johnny, we told you that we approved of the gift a month ago. She did so well in rehab and missed her horse so much when she had to come home. This will be just the trick to get her to continue her exercises and she loves spending time with you at the ranch." JoAnne said.

Johnny looked at Roy with a knowing glance. Roy recognized it. The men did not need words…they knew each other better than brothers. Roy had been on the edge of a great darkness and Johnny had come to bring the light back to him. Johnny still had nightmares…but, the ones about Roy being lost in the dark were gone. Johnny read Roy's lips as he mouthed across the crowd, "Thank you, Junior." Johnny nodded and mouthed back, "Your welcome, Pally."


End file.
